The Journey

As I am starting to move on, as I starting to know my self deeply as internally and also externally, I learn that life is just like a tree. If you manage it well, it will last for thousand of years. But if you dont take care of it well, then it will rather rot or wither before it reaches its maturity.

Life was given by God to test on our mankind what can we do with our life. How are we going to decorate our life. will we choose evil over humanity, satan over angel. it is solely our choice what we want to choose. As time goes by, we will tend to choose the wrong path. But as life goes, we will tend to make mistakes over and over again. But once you have realize that you have chosen the wrong path, that is where your journey begins.

In Islam, we have few level of humanity that we can master.

1. Syariat
2. Tarikat
3. Hakikat
4. Makrifat

When it comes to this 4 elements of life, I believe that at one point, as a normal human being, we are only gifted free "syariat" means that we…


Well, there you go.
I have shut down all my social network where all I can be is just me myself.
I have been distracted with so many external forces with politic issues, animal cruelties, dramas of some diva with fake jewelries, at one point, I just need a space on my own. I am not regreting what I am doing. Indeed, I need my own space now.
People rather call myself the ungrateful human being as I have good quality friends around me, family who love me for who I am, great house that I am living now. Nothing could be wrong for mid life huh. But only a single thing that I could not accept. Myself.
I can say that I have successfully achieved what I do have in life. I have stable job, I have average income to pay off my bills and support my family a lil bit. I have decent car to drive me to meet up with my friends who never oppose me to become who I am now. But just a single thing, I can be this down and helpless. I hate myself for being this weak.
I have gone through several traumas late…

The outcome

Here I am again, staring at my monitor and thinking of what do I need to type to express what I am feeling now. Don't even know where to start or what should I type as this paragraph is getting longer with my absurd nonsense points where it sounds rather blabbering or pointless. But the only thing that is for sure, I am in depressed or rather searching for the point of my being.

I fell and back up again, but then, when it repeatedly happened, you will rather in need of stool for you to sit down and catch your breath. That is who I am now. Again and again I fell for someone that I should not and I am feeling down about it. Again.

I am in the state of not wanting to meet anyone, or talk, or face anyone at the moment. I guess that is rather not healthy nor good idea for me to shut myself from the society but yeah, call me a chilidlish cus I am feeling just like that for myself. Aged 30 but never even mature enough to handle love matter and fall for someone just like 15 years old pupp…

The Uncertainty

Having doubt of what to eat, thinking of what to add for your dishes, when couples are having argument and having dilemma of whether to text or not, to decide whether to walk or wait for 10 minute waiting time bus to your destination, we have given an option in life based on your pattern of your decision making. But one thing that remains on daily life is the uncertainty. One of the thing in life that makes you feel alive and able to choose your life path. But there is always some things in life that no matter how you think it might have some solution, you will be ending up stucked in a loop of searching for the answer.

When you are stucked in that loop, trust me.. it will drives you crazy. when the world is colliding, you will be still thinking about it. Whether you are eating, playing game, talking with someone. Well, I guess many people will be in this state when you love someone. I am not saying only love matter, you could have this uncertainty when it comes to your career, person…

Life as 30 Years Old

I still remember...
Back when I was 8 years old where I just moved to Malaysia.
Where serenity is the exact word to describe my life back then.
Peaceful where nothing can be wrong even it is wrong.
I stood and looked up to form 1 boy like he is 30 years old.
Smirk face with just-got-puberty voice where I found them very old.
It disgust me but in the same time wondering how could someone's voice can change
drastically once they have reach their maturity.

Life has passed 22 years.
Now, I am fully matured man aged 30 years old.
Nothing changed internally, I am still childish as ever, still play games,
sleep late and struggle to wake up in the morning.
I still go out late at night to meet my best friends and spend my time playing
cards or some mobile games. Do I feel like 30 years old? never.

But I feel that as you aged, you tend me to be more "intense".
By mean, you will be more alert to your surrounding and clear on what you
want to do and expecting fruitful result since y…

what will lead us?

here i am..
typing with my laptop. feeling anxious for no reason.
yes, i am 25 ordinary man who's trying to live my life to the max while i can.
well, everything went smoothly i guess. well.. i guess.
i think the only problem that i am having is just love again.
love.. love.. love...
here we are, spending our every single second in this sphere planet, where trillions of peoples living in this globe. But i guess everyone is looking for love which what everyone is looking for. yet, no one ever get the eternal love like romeo and juliet. well, maybe it was just a plain old story that the story was made just to ease our pain sorrow that what everyone is facing. i guess, i dont know. but, maybe putting a hope to every sole heart that there is a 'chance'. chance of falling in love and be loved.

my best friend, who graduated from Raffles and holding advance degree, where she is working in high street fashion. got no problem with her appearance and successful in her life. yet, she…

akira iwasaki